


make me hurt

by DarklyDreamingDixon



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Aftercare, Biting, Blow Jobs With Teeth, Cock & Ball Torture, Daddy Kink, Daryl Has Issues, Dom/sub, Hair-pulling, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Daryl Dixon, POV First Person, Pain Kink, Painplay, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rough Body Play, Rough Kissing, Rough Oral Sex, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Smut, Subspace, Weapons Kink, pleasure from pain, trying to figure daryl out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-26 00:37:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6216598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarklyDreamingDixon/pseuds/DarklyDreamingDixon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daryl needs it rough.  REALLY rough.  He knows he can't get off without the pain.  Will Rick think he's a freak?  Or will he give Daryl what he's always needed?  </p><p>(Spoiler alert- He gives Daryl what he's always needed.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	make me hurt

**Author's Note:**

> Please mind the tags. This is dark.
> 
> Unbeta'd

Nobody knows cause ain't nobody’s damn business. I know I ain’t normal. Know it’s weird. Just ain’t nothin’ I can do ‘bout it. And never thought I’d _get_ to do anything about it. So when Rick started nosin’ ‘round I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell him, hopin’ on a chance somethin’ might happen, or to lie my ass off on the chance he’d turn tail and never want to be in the same room with me. Rick’s a good guy though. Ain’t never seen him judge nobody.

Rick, he got kinks, too. Damsel in distress kink for a while. Now katana-weildin’ kink. Had no idea until I’s on the stairs chasin’ down that Jesus mother-fucker. Rick and Michonne half-dressed and avoidin’ eyes. Took a couple days ‘fore we could really talk about it. Kinda been busy. Apocalypse and all. 

See him on the front porch, sittin’ and starin’ into space. Just got back from workin’ on one ‘a them cars Heath and Tara’s gonna take on a run. It’s dark. Quiet. I sit down next to him like the old days, my shoulder ‘gainst his. Didn’t say nothin’. Never need to. Know he’ll talk soon enough. And the quiet between us ‘s always nice anyway.

“You haven’t said anythang yet,” Rick says eventually.

“‘Bout what?” I ask, even though I know full well ‘bout what.

“‘Bout me and Michonne.” He looks at me with that head tilt ‘a his. Way he has ‘a studyin’ folks. He done it to me b’fore. Eyes me like that. Like he’s tryin’ ta figure me out. 

I shrug. “Ain’t much ta say. Glad you’re gettin’ some, man,” I say. And I was. Ain’t like I ever expected to get anythin’ from him. 

“Wish I could say the same for you, brother,” he says.

I look over at him with confusion.

“You never seem to even think about it. You know? About sex. Never did anything with Carol or Beth or any of them women at the prison that were falling all over you for a while. Least I didn’t think you did,” he says. “Or did you?”

I feel the blush on me, hot on my face. “Jesus, man. Beth was a damn baby and Carol- she’s more like my momma ‘than anythin’ else.”

Rick nods, his eyes still out lookin’ up at the dark sky. “You know, I know a lot about stuff. Thangs. Deal with all kinds of people on the force. You just not into it? Sex, I mean? Like asexual?”

I laugh cause if he’s gonna want a word for me, I ain’t got one. 

“Naw. I like sex, man.”

“Gay?” Rick asks, still keepin’ his eyes out in front ‘a us and I know it’s on purpose so I ain’t gotta feel so shy or pressured ta answer faster than I’m ready.

I shrug. “Not necessarily.” 

“Oh, bi then?” he asks and goddamn I didn’t realize how much he needs his labels. 

“‘S complicated, I guess,” I tell him. Cause it is.

He gives me a few minutes ‘a quiet ‘fore he switches the focus back on him. Givin’ me a break cause I know he ain’t done with the third degree yet.

“Chonne and I? That was just a thing. A moment, y’know.”

“Why you tellin’ me that?” I ask, genuinely curious.

“‘Case the complication has anythin’ to do with the way you look at me.” 

“You’re a cocky mother-fucker, Rick Grimes,” I say. Shit, I’d never have the balls to say somethin’ like that. And I can tell he ain’t even nervous that he might be wrong.

“Been waitin’ for you to give me the ok, Daryl. Needed some relief the other night. But I… I’d have rather gotten it from somewhere else.” He looks at me now. That stare that takes my eyes hostage and don’t give me no chance ‘a pullin’ away. I know he means me. I’m shy, ain’t got no self-esteem, but I ain’t totally dumb. 

“Ain’t that simple, Rick,” I say and I know right then and there I’m gonna tell him all my secrets. Cause it’s Rick and he want’s ta know me.

“Well, I’m planning on making a move ‘fore we get off this porch so if you have any important details I need to know-”

“I don’t work like you. Can’t… can’t just get it up so easy,” I say lookin’ down at the tent already in his pants.

He looks at me, brows knit, thinkin’, solvin the puzzle of me in his head. “You trans?” he asks. 

“No, man. I got a dick, just...takes more than a little friction.” 

“What’s it take then?” he asks as he puts a fuckin’ hand right onto my limp cock. I don’t pull away or nothin’. Don’t try to move his hand. Ain’t like it don’t feel good, it just ain’t gonna get me off ‘less I get more. A whole fuckin’ lot more.

“Needs ta’ be like… more aggressive, I guess,” I say cause shit if I know how ta explain what’s wrong with me. 

He don’t even flinch at such a weird damn statement. He just grips my cock tighter. Gives me chills. Ain’t near as hard as I want it but the fact he don’t bat an eye gets a twitch outta me.

“Like this?” he asks. Ain’t got the heart to tell him it still ain’t near enough for me. He ain’t never gonna understand how much I need.

“‘S better,” I say, thinkin’ somethin’s gonna happen. An’ worryin’ ‘bout it. How it ain’t gonna be enough. How I probly won’t even get hard much less spill cause he won’t get it and I ain’t sure I can explain it. I know sure as shit just tuggin’ on it ain’t gonna do nothin’. Only way I can jack it to orgasm is if I’m pinchin’ a nipple practically clean off or burnin’ the lit end of a cigarette ‘gainst the base a’ my cock. Christ got almost as many scars on my cock from abusin’ myself as I got on my back from bein’ abused. 

He just sits there with his eyes on me, his hand gripping my cock and his pupils blowin’ wider than I ever seen. I put my hand over his and squeeze it tighter and gasp at the pain. And finally I am gettin’ hard. And it feels good knowin’ that he ain't changed the way he's been lookin’ at me. Still Rick. Still Daryl. And maybe he don't care ‘f I’m broke. Maybe he's gonna give it to me the way I need it. Get me off for the first time ever without it just bein’ me alone, bein’ ashamed a’ what turns me on.

He takes his hand off my cock and slowly winds his fingers into my hair then pulls tight down on it unexpectedly and I gasp again at the sting. “Yes,” I whimper. He kisses me hard and pulls me to standin’ with his hand in my hair and it feels so fucking God-awful good that I let out a low growl the entire time he's pullin’ me up, his mouth still on mine, takin’ what he wants a’ me.

He backs me ‘gainst the house and crowds me, shovin’ his tongue down my throat possessively, like the deeper he gets inta me, the more he owns me. He don't know he already owns me. He slides a leg in between mine.

“You like it hard? That all? Hard and angry? Cause I don't have a problem with hard and angry,” he tells me between kisses and bites to my lower lip.

“Yeah,” I say. Don't never have much to say. He knows that. 

“Come here,” he tells me. And he grabs my hand and ‘bout drags me to the empty house next door, openin’ it up with the big ring a’ keys he got on his belt. He pushes me into a wall, all predator and steel and power. 

“Let me see you,” he says.

I strip outta my clothes and leave ‘em unceremoniously in a heap by my feet and I stand there bare in front a’ him. Don't really like barin’ my back or lettin’ anyone ever see the other damage I done to myself- my dick and my thighs. But I got a tendency ta do what Rick tells me w’thout askin’ any questions. Always have.

He drinks me in and then gets on his knees and looks at me down there. Running a finger over my thighs, over the scars there and then he holds my flacid cock, examinin’ it, seein’ burns and scars from before the apocalypse when I had easier access to cigarettes and clothes pins. And I don't wanna feel like a freak, like I always feel but he ain't judgin’. Just lookin’.

Then he looks up at me, head tiltin’ the way he does. “This the only way you can get off? Pain?”

I nod. I wait for a lecture or a speech. Not judgin’- I can see he ain't gonna be like that, but maybe thinkin’ he’s gonna talk ta me ‘bout mind shit or somethin’. Maybe tellin’ me I deserve better or askin’ what happened ta’ make me only get pleasure from pain. Maybe get one a them Rick Grimes speeches ‘bout my worth and deservin’ better.

“I can do that for you,” he says simply. “Just be aware that don't do it for me so don't go bitin’ down on my junk or anything.” He's smilin’ when he says it so I know he ain't mad at me for bein’ like I am. And my cock starts swellin’ at the thought a’ him bitin’ down on me.

I nod. I'm breathless at the thoughts a what he clearly ain't gonna be afraid ta do ta me. “You gonna bite?” I ask him, my voice all gravely and soft.

“I can bite,” he says and I flash to him chewin’ out Joe's throat and whimper. And I'm at full attention now and know I'm gonna do whatever Rick wants and I'm ‘bout 100% certain I'm gonna have the best orgasm of my life. 

I don't know if Rick ever sucked cock b’fore or not, but damn, he don't even hesitate. Takes my whole cock in this mouth and immediately starts dragging his teeth up and down it. My head cracks back ‘gainst the wall an’ I can barely hold myself up. “Rick...Fuck...Yes,” I groan. And I almost want to cry cause I never in my life thought I'd have someone to do this to me and now I do and that someone is Rick and Christ- he's testin’ my threshold and bitin’ down harder. “Yes, harder,” I choke out, my hands fisted into balls at my side.

He stops as sudden as he started and reached into his pocket, pullin’ out a handful of zip ties he been usin’ as cuffs. Puts one at the base ‘a my cock and pulls it tight and fast. “Not yet,” he simply says. The he takes a few more and zips them tight all the way up my dick and I know I gotta find out where he keeps those things. I cry out with each zip and I'm pretty sure I might spontaneously orgasm from the sound a’ plastic zips now. Oh god it feels so good.

He stands up and yanks me down to the floor by my hair. ‘S like he knows everythin’ I need. Like he figured me out so quick. An’ for a minute I don't even feel ashamed a’ bein how I am. He unzips his jeans and he's hard and I latch right onto him right away, same way I'd tear into a squirrel cookin’ slow over a campfire after not eatin’ for a couple days.

He tasted like power. Masculinity and fire and metal and he feels so good on my tongue. He grabs onto my hair with both hands and holds me steady and fucks my mouth like it's all the hole in me is there for. His hips pull back and ram back into me hard and fast. I disappear inta the sting of his hands pulling in my hair and the zip ties stranglin’ my cock. ‘S makin’ tingles all up and down me. And I don't know where to focus- my mouth, my hair or my dick so I fade out and let him take all of me.

“Christ, Daryl. Your mouth is heaven,” he groans and I can tell by his breathin’ that he’s ‘bout ta come. After a few more thrusts he spills, hittin’ the back a’ my throat as he holds my head steady. 

Finally he pulls out and kneels with me. In front ‘a me. His eyes are dark an’ his chest is still heavin’ ta get his breath back steady. “You need me to make it hurt, right? To come for me?”

I nod lookin’ down at the floor, ‘shamed. He taps at my chin with his fingers, just brief but I lift my head and look at ‘im ‘cause I know that’s what he wants a’ me. He still got his pants on, his spent cock hanging out still. He reaches back and grabs a knife out of a sheath on his belt and he keeps my eye contact while the knife lowers ta where I can’t see and I know my cock must be purple and strainin’ and marked from those zip ties. I feel the cold blade ‘gainst my skin and he looks down, tugs at the tie that was ‘round my sack like a cock ring, slips the knife under an’ cuts it off. I gasp and I’m leakin’ and I’m so close already. He slides his fingers inta my hair and yanks back so my throats exposed ta him and I think again at how Rick was like an animal, a predator, devouring Joe’s throat and I want Rick to devour me, take everythin’.

He tugs the first tie off my cock and I scream in pain.

“That ok?” He asks, a hint a’ worry in his voice. Ain’t freaked out worry, jus’ makin’ sure worry.

“Fuck. Yes.” I pant thinkin’ ‘bout how I got two more ties on that need ta come off and my heart’s racin’ waitin’ for the burn of it.

When he tugs the next one off, he yanks hard back on my hair at the same time and the pain shoots through my entire body as I cry out. Tears leakin’ out a’ my eyes an’ my cock drippin’.

“Yes, yes, yes,” I mutter over and over as I wait for the next flash of light behind my eyes from the last of the ties. My breathin’s erratic. I ain’t even sure which way’s up and which way’s down. Rick grabs my cock and drags off the last zip tie and I look down after the flash a’ pain and see blood. I feel my body getting light and my head getting woozy and I’m worried I might miss everythin’ and just pass out. 

“You still afraid I can’t make you come, Daryl?” Rick asks me. “Don’t you know me well enough to know I can do anything I set my mind to?” He grips my dick and jacks it without mercy and every exhale a’ mine is a choked cry. His strokes are nothin’ but blindin’ pain. And I’m lost. I don’t even know where I am. I’m seven and cryin’ under my daddy’s belt. Then I’m layin’ in a creek bed with my own arrow through my side kickin’ at walker. Then I’m a kid again bein’ slammed into a wall.

“Daddy, I’m sorry-” I hear the words out loud in my voice ‘stead a’ in my head where they belong and I brace for the end of it. Right when I”m so damn close. But he don’t stop. He grips my hair tighter and strokes my cock harder, rubbing it raw and jesus I know it’s gonna happen. I’m gonna come.

“Don’t need to be sorry for anything, Daryl. Do you understand me? You never done anything wrong in your life,” Rick says and I feel it. He’s tugging on my sore, bloody cock. Givin’ me the pain my body needs at the same time he’s givin’ me the comfort ‘a his words. I can’t get enough oxygen. The wave ‘a orgasm swells in my balls, drawin’ ‘em up and I’m thrustin my cock into his hand furiously and it’s in my belly, curlin’ all through my insides like a snake ‘bout to strike and my chest’s archin’ up and I move a hand to my nipple and squeeze, not even carin’ how fuckin’ nuts I must look now, cause I ain’t got no thoughts in me but the buildin’ volcano. Rick smacks my hand away and bends down and bites my nipple hard, not holdin’ back in the least. He knows now. He knows how I need to have it and the sharp, searing pain in my chest and the raw burn of my cock ‘gainst his dry hand boils up till I’m cryin’ out and shootin’ my load so hard I feel like my guts are comin’ out ‘a me along with a month’s build up a’ jizz.

I grab Rick’s hand ‘fore he can pull it away and I squeeze it tight against my sensitive, spent cock and I keep moaning and thrustin’ into the intoxicatin’ pain. I feel like I’m gonna pass out. Ain’t never came so hard in my life. Can’t move. Just slump ‘gainst the wall behind me and go black.

When I come to, Rick’s got me laid flat on the floor with a cold washcloth on my forehead. 

“You ok?” He asks with his rare small smile. I nod and categorize all the places my body hurts… and all the places it doesn’t. 

“I don't’ know what’s wrong with me,” I whisper to him. 

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Daryl. Not a thing,” he says gently as he opens a bottle of water and tries to sit me up. He holds the water up for me and I take it, watchin’ him close the whole time. Sorta not believin’ I got to have this. And that Rick knows my everythin’ now. Ain’t never gonna have secrets ‘gain. He knows. He knows an’ ‘stead ‘a bein’ disgusted he gave me what I always wanted.

“Can I ask you a question?” he says, his fingers wipin’ sweaty hair outta my eyes. And my stomach feels like a sinkin’ stone. All that. He gave me all that an’ I’s stupid ta think he wasn’t gonna try harder to make sense ‘a me. An’ I think ‘a all the things he could ask. ‘Bout my scars, ‘bout my past, ‘bout my daddy, ‘bout what I done to myself that caused all the marks on my dick. I nod and steal myself ta feel ‘shamed. 

“Will you let me do this for you again?”


End file.
